Worst Weekend of My Life
Simply staring blank in front of the computer. I don't know where and how to start this blog. Past 2 weekends left me with lots of thoughts. Flashing back how and why did i become like that?!?! I looked back my past blogs, i'm someone who is willing to write, share and how i want to express myself. Today, i became someone with less expression, less complaining and less grudges by keeping everything in my heart.
What had made me becoming like this....
I cannot say it's entirely my relationship that causes me like this. Probably life, has its own up and down. Probably, i think too much.
Looking back my header "Worst Weekend of My Life".
Yes. I indeed had the worst weekend and i think it will be there for life!!!
Let's start with Saturday. Woke up early morning to work. Thanks Adam for sending me to work. After work, BB came to fetch. As usual. Really appreciate. Seriously, i really don't know what else to say other than appreciate. Hmm... We had a tiff just downstairs of my office. I don't want to disclose much about this. It's more about colleagues, friends and family. He knows it very well about what happened. I breakdown and cried just downstairs my office. Yes. I cried. He finally willing to stop talking and grumbling after looking at me crying. This will be the outcome(crying) everytime when he start talking about anything. He only willing to stop when i start crying? Does everytime have to be like that? Why? What have gone wrong? Did i gone overboard? Did i betray him? Did i lie to him to deserved this kind of treatment? Do i really have a problem or my friend, colleagues & family? Or does he have a problem?
This is the first relationship that i have encounter problems with my colleagues, friends and family. How is my heart going to take it? Think back that day when he was sending me back on the way home, i sudden have the thought of jumping out from his bike and end my life. Cos i almost couldn't take it at that moment. Think back, i really thought of it. Lolx!! Lucky i didn't. And please thank god that i am still alive posting this blog.
Even though i choose to build walls in this relationship, it also doesn't work. Lolx!! Build walls means i choose not to tell so much about dailies life, work and friends i also get it. Hahaha... What a joke of the day. Without disclosing anything, can also led to quarrel. How? Is this relationship supposed to be about quarrelling everyday then will lead to a healthly relationship?? Or do we really need counselling?
Cried till eyes puffy. Even at night, went out with BB's family, they also know. Lolx!!! Night went prawning with his family, something unhappy also happen. However, they go through it and forget it the next day.
Sunday, went out with BB's family as usual. Went to harbourfront as BB's attending a training on Camera. So went out with them again.... Everything seems alright in the evening. Then gone bad at night just before going back.
Were chatting about my family and then nonsense start. 2nd daughter did mention that she is not doing comparison between my sister. Suddenly 1st daughter pointing at her and say she is the spoilt brat in their house. 2nd daughter starts to tear, mother suddenly slap her in the face and then comes the father gave her a punch in the face and she knocks onto the glass panal. Seriously, that time i was tearing... Lolx!!! Emotion? I cannot believe just by crying can lead to a slap or punch on the face. The parents is telling me that she is being drama. If it was me, i will also cry cos it hurt. The pain is pierce straight to the heart. If i were her, i think i would have left the house. Lolx! I cannot take it. I cannot take it when it's not my fault. Their parents know that it was the 1st daughter that pushes her limits and force the 2nd daughter to cry. Yet, they did no punishment to her. I can tell from it.
I still cannot accept and cannot forget the incident that happen yesterday. The picture still flashing back. I cannot accept parents to beat their daughter in front of outsiders and they are already 16, 17 age? Maybe i cannot take it because i never see father or mother slap or punch children in the face. I always thought those only exist in movies and drama. Do you know a hard slap on the face, can lead to ear deaf? Go find article about this. Maybe it will become the daughter sue the parents for ill-treating. Lolx!!! (I think too much)
Think back, by punching and slapping will it makes you feel better? I believe not.
I read an article about a father that used a hammer to hammer the kids finger and only left with one thumb. The parents realised too late and send the kids to hospital. But couldn't save the little fingers. The kid still ask the parent: Daddy, will his fingers grow back? The parents starts to blame each other. So this is a lesson thought and think before you act. If anything happen yesterday, will they regret for the rest of their lives? If something happen yesterday, i think i will hate myself too. Lolx!!!
Probably this is the longest blog that i have ever wrote after so long....
Please don't worry if i'm going to kill myself. Lolx!!! I will pass through this.... But if i were to die one day, probably it will be heart failure cos my heart cannot take it anymore. Hahaha...
Ok. I'm going to end here folks... Will update soon again!! Bye!!!
What had made me becoming like this....
I cannot say it's entirely my relationship that causes me like this. Probably life, has its own up and down. Probably, i think too much.
Looking back my header "Worst Weekend of My Life".
Yes. I indeed had the worst weekend and i think it will be there for life!!!
Let's start with Saturday. Woke up early morning to work. Thanks Adam for sending me to work. After work, BB came to fetch. As usual. Really appreciate. Seriously, i really don't know what else to say other than appreciate. Hmm... We had a tiff just downstairs of my office. I don't want to disclose much about this. It's more about colleagues, friends and family. He knows it very well about what happened. I breakdown and cried just downstairs my office. Yes. I cried. He finally willing to stop talking and grumbling after looking at me crying. This will be the outcome(crying) everytime when he start talking about anything. He only willing to stop when i start crying? Does everytime have to be like that? Why? What have gone wrong? Did i gone overboard? Did i betray him? Did i lie to him to deserved this kind of treatment? Do i really have a problem or my friend, colleagues & family? Or does he have a problem?
This is the first relationship that i have encounter problems with my colleagues, friends and family. How is my heart going to take it? Think back that day when he was sending me back on the way home, i sudden have the thought of jumping out from his bike and end my life. Cos i almost couldn't take it at that moment. Think back, i really thought of it. Lolx!! Lucky i didn't. And please thank god that i am still alive posting this blog.
Even though i choose to build walls in this relationship, it also doesn't work. Lolx!! Build walls means i choose not to tell so much about dailies life, work and friends i also get it. Hahaha... What a joke of the day. Without disclosing anything, can also led to quarrel. How? Is this relationship supposed to be about quarrelling everyday then will lead to a healthly relationship?? Or do we really need counselling?
Cried till eyes puffy. Even at night, went out with BB's family, they also know. Lolx!!! Night went prawning with his family, something unhappy also happen. However, they go through it and forget it the next day.
Sunday, went out with BB's family as usual. Went to harbourfront as BB's attending a training on Camera. So went out with them again.... Everything seems alright in the evening. Then gone bad at night just before going back.
Were chatting about my family and then nonsense start. 2nd daughter did mention that she is not doing comparison between my sister. Suddenly 1st daughter pointing at her and say she is the spoilt brat in their house. 2nd daughter starts to tear, mother suddenly slap her in the face and then comes the father gave her a punch in the face and she knocks onto the glass panal. Seriously, that time i was tearing... Lolx!!! Emotion? I cannot believe just by crying can lead to a slap or punch on the face. The parents is telling me that she is being drama. If it was me, i will also cry cos it hurt. The pain is pierce straight to the heart. If i were her, i think i would have left the house. Lolx! I cannot take it. I cannot take it when it's not my fault. Their parents know that it was the 1st daughter that pushes her limits and force the 2nd daughter to cry. Yet, they did no punishment to her. I can tell from it.
I still cannot accept and cannot forget the incident that happen yesterday. The picture still flashing back. I cannot accept parents to beat their daughter in front of outsiders and they are already 16, 17 age? Maybe i cannot take it because i never see father or mother slap or punch children in the face. I always thought those only exist in movies and drama. Do you know a hard slap on the face, can lead to ear deaf? Go find article about this. Maybe it will become the daughter sue the parents for ill-treating. Lolx!!! (I think too much)
Think back, by punching and slapping will it makes you feel better? I believe not.
I read an article about a father that used a hammer to hammer the kids finger and only left with one thumb. The parents realised too late and send the kids to hospital. But couldn't save the little fingers. The kid still ask the parent: Daddy, will his fingers grow back? The parents starts to blame each other. So this is a lesson thought and think before you act. If anything happen yesterday, will they regret for the rest of their lives? If something happen yesterday, i think i will hate myself too. Lolx!!!
Probably this is the longest blog that i have ever wrote after so long....
Please don't worry if i'm going to kill myself. Lolx!!! I will pass through this.... But if i were to die one day, probably it will be heart failure cos my heart cannot take it anymore. Hahaha...
Ok. I'm going to end here folks... Will update soon again!! Bye!!!
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