Break Ups With Men & Knowing When It’s Time
Do you know what the purpose of a relationship is?
Contrary to popular belief- it’s NOT to have someone who will make you feel comfortable about everything that happens in your life, and understand you no matter what.
That’s what parents were for when you were a child.
Relationships are there to help each partner in the couple grow into their “Best Self” by learning the lessons only a close intimate relationship could show them.
It’s fascinating that most of us only find this kind of growth and discovery about OURSELVES through the love and sometimes hard to hear honesty of others.
Knowing this… it’s critical that we have people in our lives who we trust who can see us from an outside perspective and give us their honest take on how we live our life and who we are.
It’s important to balance knowing who you are INTERNALLY with who you are to other people EXTERNALLY… and learn and take from both.
Relationships provide this in our lives in the most beautiful and intense ways… if you’re willing to be honest with yourself and listen.
Are you really listening? Or are you seeing what you want to see?
As Marianne Williamson said in her book “A Return To Love”…
“It takes courage…to endure the sharp pains of self discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.”
*Quick note- if you’re wanting to move past some blocks or patterns in your love life, they may be because of some of the Internal things you have going on emotionally and mentally. To move past these patterns, I recommend checking out Ready For Love
Knowing When To Break Up With A Man
Do you have any friends who seem to hang on to their man and relationship at all costs- no matter whether the relationship is bringing out each partners “best self” or not?
A few of my friends call women who are this way “Hanger On-ers” because they “hang on” no matter what.
No matter how tough things get… no matter how badly their man behaves… and no matter how “small” their relationship makes them feel they still stay and hang on to the relationship.
Now, it’s often easy to see from the outside when things aren’t working in a relationship and it’s time to leave and move on.
But when it’s YOU who’s the one in love but having a tough time with your boyfriend, it’s a different story isn’t it?
Yep- it sure is.
I’m going to share with you the 2 most common mistakes women make as “Hanger On-ers” in relationships.
The 2 Mistakes “Hanger On-ers” Make That Prolong Break Ups
Here are the 2 mistakes most women who are “Hanger On-ers” make in relationships with men that prolong or make break ups even worse…
Mistake #1: Putting Words In His Mouth
Women who hang on to relationships do something that gets in their own way and keeps them from the TRUTH of their relationship and the man they’re with.
They assume that a man’s behavior (flirting, spending time together or being physical and intimate) signifies his true interest or intentions about the relationship.
The problem is, men can and will act in these ways and still not want or be comitted to a relationship.
Of course, this wouldn’t be so confusing if men were more honest and forthcoming about their feelings and intentions.
Mistake #2: Not Acting On The Truth
Have you ever had a friend who sat around knowing that things weren’t right in her relationship, and that her man wasn’t committed and didn’t want the relationship?
But she stayed and carried on anyway in hopes that his feelings or the situation would magically change?
There’s almost nothing that will make you feel worse than trying to keep things afloat when your guy isn’t emotionally “present” with you in the relationship.
Lots of women avoid acting on the truth they discover because they think things can change, or the pain of breaking up will be too much.
Your Break Up Could Be Just What Your Relationship Needs
The world works in strange ways. Lots of times you have to be willing to let go of something in order to get it back.
Relationships can be this way, if you have the courage to let them take the shape they were meant to have.
The truth is that it’s often more difficult trying to keep pushing and pulling to try and save the relationship, only to be disappointed later.
If you find yourself making either of the mistakes I just showed you, then it’s time to think hard about the kind of relationship you really want and deserve… and if the man you’re with is giving it to you or not.
If he’s not, trying to find little ways to cover it up or get him to change his feelings or behavior is more often than not the LONG ROAD that leads to to the same destination.
If you really want your relationship to work (and change) then you need to address what you feel directly with the man in your life.
You’ll find out the truth for yourself and discover what you need to know- without wasting more of your time and heart.
But remember when you talk to him about it… there’s a purpose to relationships. To find your highest self.
So how can you create a conversation with him that is from your highest self, and encourages in him his highest self?
Starting your conversation there will make all the difference.
Contrary to popular belief- it’s NOT to have someone who will make you feel comfortable about everything that happens in your life, and understand you no matter what.
That’s what parents were for when you were a child.
Relationships are there to help each partner in the couple grow into their “Best Self” by learning the lessons only a close intimate relationship could show them.
It’s fascinating that most of us only find this kind of growth and discovery about OURSELVES through the love and sometimes hard to hear honesty of others.
Knowing this… it’s critical that we have people in our lives who we trust who can see us from an outside perspective and give us their honest take on how we live our life and who we are.
It’s important to balance knowing who you are INTERNALLY with who you are to other people EXTERNALLY… and learn and take from both.
Relationships provide this in our lives in the most beautiful and intense ways… if you’re willing to be honest with yourself and listen.
Are you really listening? Or are you seeing what you want to see?
As Marianne Williamson said in her book “A Return To Love”…
“It takes courage…to endure the sharp pains of self discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.”
*Quick note- if you’re wanting to move past some blocks or patterns in your love life, they may be because of some of the Internal things you have going on emotionally and mentally. To move past these patterns, I recommend checking out Ready For Love
Knowing When To Break Up With A Man
Do you have any friends who seem to hang on to their man and relationship at all costs- no matter whether the relationship is bringing out each partners “best self” or not?
A few of my friends call women who are this way “Hanger On-ers” because they “hang on” no matter what.
No matter how tough things get… no matter how badly their man behaves… and no matter how “small” their relationship makes them feel they still stay and hang on to the relationship.
Now, it’s often easy to see from the outside when things aren’t working in a relationship and it’s time to leave and move on.
But when it’s YOU who’s the one in love but having a tough time with your boyfriend, it’s a different story isn’t it?
Yep- it sure is.
I’m going to share with you the 2 most common mistakes women make as “Hanger On-ers” in relationships.
The 2 Mistakes “Hanger On-ers” Make That Prolong Break Ups
Here are the 2 mistakes most women who are “Hanger On-ers” make in relationships with men that prolong or make break ups even worse…
Mistake #1: Putting Words In His Mouth
Women who hang on to relationships do something that gets in their own way and keeps them from the TRUTH of their relationship and the man they’re with.
They assume that a man’s behavior (flirting, spending time together or being physical and intimate) signifies his true interest or intentions about the relationship.
The problem is, men can and will act in these ways and still not want or be comitted to a relationship.
Of course, this wouldn’t be so confusing if men were more honest and forthcoming about their feelings and intentions.
Mistake #2: Not Acting On The Truth
Have you ever had a friend who sat around knowing that things weren’t right in her relationship, and that her man wasn’t committed and didn’t want the relationship?
But she stayed and carried on anyway in hopes that his feelings or the situation would magically change?
There’s almost nothing that will make you feel worse than trying to keep things afloat when your guy isn’t emotionally “present” with you in the relationship.
Lots of women avoid acting on the truth they discover because they think things can change, or the pain of breaking up will be too much.
Your Break Up Could Be Just What Your Relationship Needs
The world works in strange ways. Lots of times you have to be willing to let go of something in order to get it back.
Relationships can be this way, if you have the courage to let them take the shape they were meant to have.
The truth is that it’s often more difficult trying to keep pushing and pulling to try and save the relationship, only to be disappointed later.
If you find yourself making either of the mistakes I just showed you, then it’s time to think hard about the kind of relationship you really want and deserve… and if the man you’re with is giving it to you or not.
If he’s not, trying to find little ways to cover it up or get him to change his feelings or behavior is more often than not the LONG ROAD that leads to to the same destination.
If you really want your relationship to work (and change) then you need to address what you feel directly with the man in your life.
You’ll find out the truth for yourself and discover what you need to know- without wasting more of your time and heart.
But remember when you talk to him about it… there’s a purpose to relationships. To find your highest self.
So how can you create a conversation with him that is from your highest self, and encourages in him his highest self?
Starting your conversation there will make all the difference.
Comments
Post a Comment