My Letter To Him
Dearest Dearie
I took days to write you this letter, took days to overcome the courage to send you this letter. Probably after reading this letter you will understand why I say I am tired of this relationship.
Beginning of this relationship I tried very hard to maintain. I feel that I am the one who is giving and you are taking me for granted. You know it’s very tiring when I give and you take when a person gets nothing in return, it become tired. I find no point talking about the past when now the main point is, can we continue to walk further and see future together?
This relationship rocks NOT because of the past mistakes that you made or 3rd party involve. This relationship shakes because you cannot even give me the very minimum secure. I don’t have security with you. We already don’t have trust and the minimum of security I also don’t have. I am trying to trust, trying to try. However, you prove me nothing.
Let me tell you why. From the start, when you made the biggest mistakes I forgive and forget. By saying I don’t want the same mistake to be repeated. Yes! You may have done it now. But think! How many times I must repeat myself for each mistake you made. How many times must I tell you what I don’t like? Seriously, if you really love me, you won’t hurt me at all.
Example: Calling names when I first caught you calling people “Dear” and “Bao bei / Bei Bei”. When I already mention I don’t like. Yet, you still do it to Lina calling her “piggy”. I swallow!!! Next is: When you meet Lina at times that you never say, borrow money also never say. Anything got to do with her also never tell me. I have to find out for myself. Tell me then. Why do I still need a boyfriend who hides and never speaks up and tell the truth? It is tiring when I say I have to find things out myself. I have to ask to find out the answer. If I don’t ask, would you tell me? No! You will sit on it and pretend nothing happen. This is not a relationship. This is like courtship when you don’t want me to know anything at all. It hurts!! Who the hell am I to you? A person who will go around and spread and tell the whole world that what my boyfriend is doing outside? What he has done to hurt me? You promise that you will keep the sms to prove to me that I think too much. In the end, did you? Did you really keep the sms and let me read to make me feel better? No. You did not. You only keep the sms that you think I see already won’t feel that painful. YES! You care and concern for me but whatever you do to care about me is what YOU think and not what I think. You see the picture? You’re the one who think too much and thought that I will go wild thinking. If you DID ever give me sense of security, will I go wild thinking? No.
You know, loving you wasn’t the hardest thing to do. The hardest thing is when you choose to lie and I still choose to believe.
If you open your eyes and see, I really changed. I changed because of you. To change into someone who wants me to become, that is not love. You don’t love or accept who I am but who I change to and become. I stop doing lots of things that you don’t like but you never ever try to do things that I don’t like. Never!! One small mistake I made, you can straight away call off this relationship. The biggest mistakes you made in my life I gave you a chance, didn’t I? Sorry! I couldn’t accept it. I wanted this relationship back very much, but can you promise me that you will not end it again? No right? Very hard isn’t it. Probably, I am not the girl that you have been waiting for this life. If you love me, you won’t so easily say end it.
I gave you unconditional love, care and concern. I stood by you at your lowest peak. Putting in effort to make you card every occasion. What I get? I get was blames for blogging because of I want to tell people about my life? I get blames because I occasionally go clubbing or I hang out with friends that you don’t like? I don’t even have the choice to choose the friends that I want to go out with. Knowing you don’t like, I try to minimize to go out with those you don’t like or maybe not even meeting any at all. SO this is what you want your girlfriend to be?
I thought very carefully for the past few days. I find it so tired. I am not your puppet. I obey your rules your regulations in this game. What I get? I got was your reprimand and all sorts of remarks. You never trust me going out with other guys. You thought that I will commit the same mistake like you do. Sorry! I did not and I won’t. For this entire 2 years. I have been a faithful girlfriend whatever I do, wherever I go or whoever I go out with, I will tell you but did you?
I saw the card and the bag you gave. Thank you! To me, it was the best gift of my entire 2 years with you. I really appreciate. However, the card came too late. I have already decided to let go. This is not you. You are just doing things now to make me happy for one moment. When we are back again, you will change back to your own self. I don’t want a man to change for me after he realized this relationship starts to rock. I love who you are and not what you change for me because I like it. If really you change for me, we also will lead to no end. If you know what I like, what I don’t and what I wish, you would have done it long ago. Don’t have to wait till now then you start to make thing works. Don’t make things difficult for yourself when I know you are just not being yourself. You are just trying to make things work out. I don’t need you to lower your own self esteem just because of me or my family. We don’t owe you anything neither do you.
I love you for who you are and not change to what I want you to become. I just want you to try not to do things that I don’t like. You didn’t. You choose it your way. No matter how many times I say, you will still repeatedly make the same mistakes that I say I don’t like. You never put my words into serious consideration. You care for your friends more than you care for me. You trust your friends more than you trust what I say. In another words is, you are willing to hug your friend and die together you also won’t mind. This is the real you!!
I really don’t understand you at all. I don’t know what you want. I don’t know how to help you. I don’t know how to make you understand how I feel. All this is no longer an issue anymore. From today onwards, we are just friends and nothing else. If you still want to maintain as friendship please stop forcing me to do things that I don’t like. I want my freedom back. I want to be who I am and not what you want me to become. I’m also giving you back your freedom that you yearn for. I won’t spy or check on your anymore. You will feel better.
I can’t bear to let go and seriously you do stand a place in my heart. I see the changes you made and you are trying to make this relationship work back again, I am very happy because I know I do stand a place in your heart. However, if I don’t find the security and trust, I don’t see the reasons of staying together. Letting you go doesn’t mean I don’t care anymore. Letting you go means giving you another chance to start all over again with another women who can give you the best.
I know I am not the best and not the women that you wanted in life. If I am the one for you, you would have done it long ago.
Just remember don’t ever commit the same mistakes again. How many women can accept a man who betrays her and hold onto him for the next year?
Lastly, I want to say thank you. I learn lot’s of things from you for this 2 years. From today onwards, friends we shall be. Last call, Dearie…. Take good care! Bye!
I took days to write you this letter, took days to overcome the courage to send you this letter. Probably after reading this letter you will understand why I say I am tired of this relationship.
Beginning of this relationship I tried very hard to maintain. I feel that I am the one who is giving and you are taking me for granted. You know it’s very tiring when I give and you take when a person gets nothing in return, it become tired. I find no point talking about the past when now the main point is, can we continue to walk further and see future together?
This relationship rocks NOT because of the past mistakes that you made or 3rd party involve. This relationship shakes because you cannot even give me the very minimum secure. I don’t have security with you. We already don’t have trust and the minimum of security I also don’t have. I am trying to trust, trying to try. However, you prove me nothing.
Let me tell you why. From the start, when you made the biggest mistakes I forgive and forget. By saying I don’t want the same mistake to be repeated. Yes! You may have done it now. But think! How many times I must repeat myself for each mistake you made. How many times must I tell you what I don’t like? Seriously, if you really love me, you won’t hurt me at all.
Example: Calling names when I first caught you calling people “Dear” and “Bao bei / Bei Bei”. When I already mention I don’t like. Yet, you still do it to Lina calling her “piggy”. I swallow!!! Next is: When you meet Lina at times that you never say, borrow money also never say. Anything got to do with her also never tell me. I have to find out for myself. Tell me then. Why do I still need a boyfriend who hides and never speaks up and tell the truth? It is tiring when I say I have to find things out myself. I have to ask to find out the answer. If I don’t ask, would you tell me? No! You will sit on it and pretend nothing happen. This is not a relationship. This is like courtship when you don’t want me to know anything at all. It hurts!! Who the hell am I to you? A person who will go around and spread and tell the whole world that what my boyfriend is doing outside? What he has done to hurt me? You promise that you will keep the sms to prove to me that I think too much. In the end, did you? Did you really keep the sms and let me read to make me feel better? No. You did not. You only keep the sms that you think I see already won’t feel that painful. YES! You care and concern for me but whatever you do to care about me is what YOU think and not what I think. You see the picture? You’re the one who think too much and thought that I will go wild thinking. If you DID ever give me sense of security, will I go wild thinking? No.
You know, loving you wasn’t the hardest thing to do. The hardest thing is when you choose to lie and I still choose to believe.
If you open your eyes and see, I really changed. I changed because of you. To change into someone who wants me to become, that is not love. You don’t love or accept who I am but who I change to and become. I stop doing lots of things that you don’t like but you never ever try to do things that I don’t like. Never!! One small mistake I made, you can straight away call off this relationship. The biggest mistakes you made in my life I gave you a chance, didn’t I? Sorry! I couldn’t accept it. I wanted this relationship back very much, but can you promise me that you will not end it again? No right? Very hard isn’t it. Probably, I am not the girl that you have been waiting for this life. If you love me, you won’t so easily say end it.
I gave you unconditional love, care and concern. I stood by you at your lowest peak. Putting in effort to make you card every occasion. What I get? I get was blames for blogging because of I want to tell people about my life? I get blames because I occasionally go clubbing or I hang out with friends that you don’t like? I don’t even have the choice to choose the friends that I want to go out with. Knowing you don’t like, I try to minimize to go out with those you don’t like or maybe not even meeting any at all. SO this is what you want your girlfriend to be?
I thought very carefully for the past few days. I find it so tired. I am not your puppet. I obey your rules your regulations in this game. What I get? I got was your reprimand and all sorts of remarks. You never trust me going out with other guys. You thought that I will commit the same mistake like you do. Sorry! I did not and I won’t. For this entire 2 years. I have been a faithful girlfriend whatever I do, wherever I go or whoever I go out with, I will tell you but did you?
I saw the card and the bag you gave. Thank you! To me, it was the best gift of my entire 2 years with you. I really appreciate. However, the card came too late. I have already decided to let go. This is not you. You are just doing things now to make me happy for one moment. When we are back again, you will change back to your own self. I don’t want a man to change for me after he realized this relationship starts to rock. I love who you are and not what you change for me because I like it. If really you change for me, we also will lead to no end. If you know what I like, what I don’t and what I wish, you would have done it long ago. Don’t have to wait till now then you start to make thing works. Don’t make things difficult for yourself when I know you are just not being yourself. You are just trying to make things work out. I don’t need you to lower your own self esteem just because of me or my family. We don’t owe you anything neither do you.
I love you for who you are and not change to what I want you to become. I just want you to try not to do things that I don’t like. You didn’t. You choose it your way. No matter how many times I say, you will still repeatedly make the same mistakes that I say I don’t like. You never put my words into serious consideration. You care for your friends more than you care for me. You trust your friends more than you trust what I say. In another words is, you are willing to hug your friend and die together you also won’t mind. This is the real you!!
I really don’t understand you at all. I don’t know what you want. I don’t know how to help you. I don’t know how to make you understand how I feel. All this is no longer an issue anymore. From today onwards, we are just friends and nothing else. If you still want to maintain as friendship please stop forcing me to do things that I don’t like. I want my freedom back. I want to be who I am and not what you want me to become. I’m also giving you back your freedom that you yearn for. I won’t spy or check on your anymore. You will feel better.
I can’t bear to let go and seriously you do stand a place in my heart. I see the changes you made and you are trying to make this relationship work back again, I am very happy because I know I do stand a place in your heart. However, if I don’t find the security and trust, I don’t see the reasons of staying together. Letting you go doesn’t mean I don’t care anymore. Letting you go means giving you another chance to start all over again with another women who can give you the best.
I know I am not the best and not the women that you wanted in life. If I am the one for you, you would have done it long ago.
Just remember don’t ever commit the same mistakes again. How many women can accept a man who betrays her and hold onto him for the next year?
Lastly, I want to say thank you. I learn lot’s of things from you for this 2 years. From today onwards, friends we shall be. Last call, Dearie…. Take good care! Bye!
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